Psalm 13- Trust

A certain Psalm seems to continue to come to mind lately. I admit the first few parts of it aren't the happiest of verses but in continuing there are a couple verses that end it that really strike a cord with me. It says "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me." I really love these last few lines. After being so disheartened at the beginning it ends up because a true Psalm of faith and trust in God. Now I don't know about you but having faith and trusting are definitely two things I struggle with. Having faith in God's plans and trusting he is doing the right things for me are something I struggle with. Now i'm not saying I don't think he knows what he's doing. I KNOW he knows what he is doing. But sometimes it is very hard to "let go and let God" so to speak. I just really think this Psalm shows the fear and pain that we sometimes have but at the end the last couple of verses show tremendous faith and trust. It is so powerful to really think about just how much God will always take care of us and provide. He has unconditional, unfailing love for us. He has been SO good to us. It really is amazing to think about.

These faith and trust issues don't stop here. But like always they do return to God as everything does. I also struggle with trusting and having faith in my relationships. I learned this horrible mantra a long time ago "I only trust you as far as I can throw you." and unless you are a baseball I probably can't throw you very far. So, this is a horrible mantra? Yes and no. I mean there is nothing wrong with being cautious. There are people out there who aren't their to serve your best interest.  With that being said tho, just like their is nothing wrong with being cautious there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable to the people who deserve it. There are some tremendously good people that do deserve your trust, faith, and commitment. They deserve all of us, not just the parts we want to give. True trust is giving and letting. This trust and faith benefits all sides involved. Not everyone is going to hurt you. Not everyone is out to get you or to pull a fast one on you or destroy you. So why do I, and I'm sure I'm not alone, have such a hard time with this? Why do you? Are their people in your past who changed you, broke you, or made it seem impossible to fully trust someone? I answered yes. But isn't that really just part of it? It's just part of the game right? Honestly, if we continue to associate our relationships with a "game" things like this will continue to be the case and we will never move from this lifestyle of unfulfilling and untrusting relationships. Relationships aren't a game. There shouldn't be a winner and a loser. Now, let me stress I'm not condoning giving your trust and faith to just anyone walking down the street. Things take time, trust is earned. I know that. And finding someone who deserves your trust and faith is hard, but we shouldn't let the past dictate the future or set the tone. I fully believe in God's will and have faith in his way. He knows exactly what he's doing. He put's the right person there for us to learn to trust again. And I think the past makes the present and future that much sweeter. Yes the growing pains can be brutal. But they are worth it. I think the benefits of letting someone in outweigh the fears. Its better than being guarded and hurting every time you push someone away because you have been hurt in the past. We have to stay away from thoughts that compare them to the ones before them and passing judgements. I think to really improve and trust again we must stop comparing relationships and stop the game mentality.

God has a reason for it all. Trust him. He will put the right people there and you will know it. When you realize its time to trust again. You will. Just like when God leads you somewhere, go. He knows exactly what he's doing. I am trying to grow in trusting God's way. Just like in Psalm 13 there is so much fear, so many questions, but so much faith in God. He has unfailing love and he has been so good to us. True trust and faith in him. This post was pretty all over the place but I hope at least it communicated that trusting God and our relationships is true strength. We all deserve to be happy and be with good people. I thank God everyday for the people he has sent me. Sometimes coming from the most random, coincidental and unconventional places. I am truly blessed and hope to do my relationships with the one's I love justice.

I hope you have a great easter!

trust and faith,
Caroline